I Would Be a Better Person if I Wasn’t Married

unnamedI’d be a better person if I was single.

Has anyone else ever thought that? Sometimes after I get in an argument with my wife or after I am in the wrong in something that happened between us, this thought crosses my mind.

I think that if it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t have said that or did this. So even if it is my fault its really her who made me do it.

Yeah right.

The truth is, and anyone married longer than a month knows this, it’s not my marriage that makes me a bad person it simply reveals my own selfishness and sin.

In marriage there is no place to hide, your spouse sees everything. So it becomes clear to them (and you) the places where you are weak. It’s not your spouse that makes you weak, but marriage does expose your weakness.

The truth is, a healthy marriage is the most sanctifying thing there is. For the believer, there is nothing else that can show you the areas that need working on for you to become more like Jesus than marriage.

Marriage is also the truest example of Proverbs 27:17:

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

Often when people talk about that verse, they give this idea that we are supposed to build each other up. But that really misses the point.

Iron sharping iron is a violent and rough process; it takes work. Which means sharpening one another can be hard work. As my wife points out the areas I need to grow in, it’s not fun to hear. It’s necessary, but not pleasant.

I truly believe that my wife is God’s greatest gift to me. She’s patient, loving, and gracious to me. I would be way worse off if it wasn’t for her. Even if in the moment my pride disagrees.

I wouldn’t be a better person if I wasn’t married, I would just be able to hide more of my weaknesses.

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2 thoughts on “I Would Be a Better Person if I Wasn’t Married

  1. Years ago I heard a pastor say: When I lived alone I kinda knew I was a little selfish. When I had roommates I realized I was selfish. With a spouse I saw I was really selfish. But when I became a parent I knew I was totally, hopelessly selfish.

    I often think of this.