Monogamy Before Sex?


A few months ago I watched a video about professing Christians who essentially wanted people to know that they didn’t hold the stereotypically negative Christian beliefs. Basically, the point of the video was that not all Christians are like those Christians, i.e. the “crazy” ones.

Though the video did seem to insinuate that Christians who believe the Bible is authoritative in their lives should be included in those ‘crazy’ Christians.

Anyway, after those in the video said what they didn’t want to be labeled as thinking or believing, they then shared some things they did believe and/or were. And there is one statement that I found really interesting and remember thinking, why?

Here is what that person said:

“I believe in monogamy before sex.”

This was my initial thought: Why? That isn’t a Biblical concept.

Now, the Bible does teach that God created sex to flourish in the context of a committed, martial relationship. So yes, monogamy is part of that. However, the way we use monogamy in our culture today means almost nothing.

Often, we think of monogamy as being committed to one person (which it is), but the problem is we often have no qualifiers by what committed means other than not seeing someone else.

Which means a one night stand can be considered “monogamous.”

That is not the type of monogamy the Bible preaches. 

Surely this person is not alone in their thinking. Particularly with everything surrounding same-sex marriage in the past year, there has been a shift in the way some Christians have expressed their belief.

From believing God created sex to be enjoyed in a committed marriage relationship between a man and a woman, to simply a “committed” relationship, whatever that may mean.

So we must ask the question, what is God thinking? Why take sex so seriously so as to take away from what we think will make us happy?

The fact that God places boundaries upon the ways and forms of pleasure does not imply that He is against our joy. Consider the example of an architect who specializes in roller coaster design. No one would call him a killjoy when he necessitates a safety bar across the lap for his ride which loops and takes turns at 70 mph. We understand that certain restrictions are necessary for such an adventure.

-Geoff Ashley

Sex is a gift created by God, but the reality is outside certain boundaries it leads to hurt, shame, regret, embarrassment, etc.

Now the truth is that we have all sinned sexually in some way, no one is perfect in this. And if you are someone who would say that you are unhappy in this area of your life, what do you have to lose by trying it God’s way?

A fish is made for the context of water. It may jump out of the water onto land and think for a second it has found ultimate freedom, but in the end, it can’t survive and thrive outside of the boundaries it was created to live in. Sex is no different.


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