The “god” of Sex

Sex is one of the biggest gods in our culture today. A rundown of why this is the case is not necessary; it is plain for all of us to see. No one wants to be told who they can and cannot engage with sexually.

For all Christians, sexual purity is difficult to pursue. Pornography is instantly accessible. Even if you intentionally try to avoid sensual things, it is practically unavoidable to a certain degree today. With TV shows, public advertisements on things like billboards, or even sexual advertisements on websites that have absolutely nothing to do with the website you are on; the fact is unless you live in a cave, sexual temptation will find you.

Our cultural views toward sex make God’s design for sex hard as well. We are told that it doesn’t matter who or how many people you sleep with. We are encouraged to engage in non-marital sex and even looked down upon for not doing so.

And so increasingly many Christians are entering into sexual relationships with almost no regret. We seem to think that, at least in this area, God must not really care (or he was just wrong about sex) about what we do sexually so long as we are pursuing Christ in all of the other areas of our lives.

However, if God created sex to flourish in the confines of marriage, and he designed marriage to be between one man and one woman, than any kind of sexual relationship outside the marriage of one man and woman is wrong.

What we have begun to see with the rise in acceptance of so-called gay marriage is the increased laxity in which Christians regard sex. If we are not following God’s design for sex (by engaging in non-marital sexual activity), then how can we claim that the act of homosexuality be sinful?

And so we have seen many Christian’s change their stance on sex from no longer reserved for marriage, to being reserved for “committed” relationships. And since “committed” is an extremely ambiguous term, it is really just an out for us to no longer have to submit ourselves to Christ in this area of our lives.

I am reminded of what Jesus himself said in Luke 6:46-49:

“‘Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you? Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who hears and does not do them is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. When the stream broke against it, immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great.'”

Why do we call him Lord, yet ignore his lordship in such a crucial area of our lives?

This is not about following a list of rules in order to make God happy. The Christian life is not about that. Instead, we follow God’s commands because that is what brings about the most joy in our lives and gives him the most glory. Sex is a good thing that God created. He didn’t have to make sex an enjoyable experience, yet he did.

However, I am afraid that many Christians will miss how good a gift sex is, because we treat it not as a gift that God has given to us, but as an object that we can use and discard at will.

So where does this leave you? If you’re not a Christian, then you will undoubtedly disagree with most everything I have said. If you do claim to be a follower of Christ, do you call Jesus Lord yet willfully ignore him in this area of your life? If so, is it because you don’t truly believe he is who he says he is?

It is one thing for a Christian to struggle in this area, it is another thing altogether to know what God says about sex and simply ignore it. This, I believe, may indicate who the “god” of our life actually is.


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3 thoughts on “The “god” of Sex

  1. I get the point here and yes, I totally agree that the calling to sexual purity applies to ALL sexual acts outside of marriage.

    However, I think it is a mistake or a stretch to assume that people are accepting gay marriage because they can’t keep it in their pants. I think this argument is built on the not-entirely-accurate assumption that the fight for gay marriage is only about somehow enabling/legitimizing gay sex for people with a homosexual orientation.

    Although the term “homosexual” inherently defines itself as a person who is sexually attracted to the same gender, it is a far more complex attraction than that, and we must be careful to not reduce it to a mere act. I don’t think you’re alone in maybe thinking this, in fact, I think a lot of straight folks immediately make the assumption that struggling with same sex attraction, or even being openly homosexual is all about sex acts. Sure, in some cases it is, just like there are straight players out there that are only after “one thing.” But not all.

    I would make the argument that for most, sex (and everything that comprises that attraction) is of relatively little importance compared to the much larger emotional attraction. I think anyone who is in love (and I mean truly in love) in their marriage would agree that what draws them to the other person are the tiny little things about them that make you go all googly-eyed: The way they smile when they see you, the knowledge of having someone that is faithful and “all yours”, the sound of their voice on the phone after a long day, when they surprise you with dinner or a small but unexpected gift, their cute little quirks, the way they hold your hand, their cheesy jokes, the way they appreciate the whole of who you are, the feeling that you’re not alone in the world, the assurance of having a companion to share life with…I could go on but I think you get what I mean.

    It is that, and not sex (I would argue), that ultimately causes a lot of people who struggle with SSA to give up the fight and ultimately engage in the lifestyle (or just jump right into it if you have no faith or cultural-related qualms about it). It is also, I believe, why homosexual couples are so passionate about fighting for the right to marriage (whether biblically accurate or not). I mean, it doesn’t make sense for people to fight so vehemently for gay marriage if it’s about sex when they can pretty much already do that without marriage. I think there HAS to be more to it to motivate people to leave their families, be outcast from their communities and churches, lose their jobs, and so on, right? Whether or not homosexuality is biblical is one thing, but I think everyone regardless of their views toward Christianity would have a hard time denying that there’s more to it than just feel-good-sex. I guess all I’m trying to say, is that to equate the fight for gay marriage to people having lax views on pre-marital sex is to maybe generalize or oversimplify an issue that is much more emotionally painful than sexual self-control for a lot of people. I, unfortunately, can say that with first-hand knowledge.

    Just a thought to consider regarding that small-but-significant paragraph. Overall, this is a good thought-provoking article with some good challenges to biblical living.

  2. Thank you for your thoughtful reply. And maybe I should have been more clear on this, but I no way think that just because Christians are having non-marital sex, that that is the main reason why they are accepting the act of homosexuality (though many studies have shown that Christians that watch porn and do have non-marital sex do have a significantly higher chance of accepting gay marriage). I am just saying it is inconsistent and I do believe it does change the minds of some, but definitely not all.

    Also, I understand that homosexuality is more about sex (though I would disagree that it is of relative little importance). And I was careful not to say that just having same sex attraction is sinful, because in and of itself it is not. It is a very complex issue, and absolutely has to do with more than just sex. However, since this post was about sex, and some people do in fact accept gay marriage because they themselves are sleeping around, that is why I made that point.