4 Mistakes Poor Leaders make

Nobody sets out to be a bad leader. And yet, all of us can point to a number of poor leaders we have had over the years. How does this happen? And what can we do to avoid that same fate?

How do we not become like that coach or teacher or boss or mentor that wasn't a good leader?

By not falling into one of the four following mistakes poor leaders make.

1. They don't have personal relationships with those they lead

You may have heard the leadership principle that you can't (and shouldn't) have personal relationships with those you lead. In fact, at a former job I had, it was strongly discouraged that the managers spend any time outside of work with their employees.

Ironically, in my time there we had two managers; one who certainly followed that rule and one who did not. Which do you think we liked (and performed better for) more?

Certainly, there can be some tensions when leaders or bosses or managers have friendships with those they lead. For example, if someone is performing poorly at their job or hard conversations need to be had, it is important that the leader be able to have the respect and authority necessary for those situations.

But in my experience, the onus is on the leader to be able to say and differentiate between when the boss hat has to be put on and when it doesn't.

When we know and care about our leaders and feel known and cared for by them, we perform better because we want to, not because we are supposed to.

You don't need to be best friends with everyone, but good leaders do have relationships with those they lead.

2. They apply the same rules to everyone

In an effort to be fair the tendency (and policy for most organizations) is that everyone gets the same treatment. Every employee gets the same amount of time off, everyone has to be in the office and work the same amount of scheduled time, everyone gets the standard yearly raise if they are doing a decent job, etc.

Now to be clear, I am not advocating discriminating against anyone. Everyone deserves the same fair shot, the same minimum amount of time off, etc.

But we all know that people do not perform equally. And we should adjust for high performers as well as poor performers.

We should ask our high performers what they like and don't like and what we can do to help them do their job well. Do they want more flexibility on when or where they work? Are there any policies or things that are done that hamper their focus and productivity?

Just like poor performers are often given fewer freedoms and more restrictions to ensure they are doing their job, those who add a lot of value should get the same treatment but in reverse.

At this point, you may be worried about how everyone will perceive the possible unfairness of it all. This leads to the next mistake poor leaders make.

3. They treat everyone the same

The best and most effective leaders do not treat everyone the same. Good leaders know that investing and developing in those who work the hardest and show the most promise is the best use of their time.

And before you think that this isn't a wise or even a good thing to do, I'd like to point out that even Jesus himself did this.

Even if you aren't a follower of Christ, most people know that Jesus had 12 main disciples that he spent the majority of his time with. That right there tells you that God himself didn't spend equal time with everyone while Christ was on earth.

What you may not know, however, is that it didn't stop there. Within his 12 disciples, Jesus had a sort of inner ring with three of them: Peter, James, and John.

These three were witness to a few extra miracles that the rest of the disciples were not apart of. There is little doubt that the rest of the disciples would have recognized that those three seemed to have even more special access to Jesus than they.

So what does all this show us? We can't spend time with nor treat everyone the same. Jesus focused on 12 people specifically (and three of those 12 even more) so that after his death, burial, and resurrection, they would be equipped to spread the good news of what Christ had done.

In the same way, good leaders understand that their time is not infinite. This means we must be intentional about who we train, develop, and spend the most time with. And if you're a young leader, this can be even harder to do, but it's worth it.

Good leaders love and care for everyone, and they intentionally invest in few.

4. They don't take any public feedback

One of the best things leaders can do is allow and encourage public feedback and constructive criticism. There is an intimidation factor all bosses and leaders can have on those they lead, even if they are the most personal and loving people in the world. At the end of the day, people know their leaders have the ability to fire them, give them pay raises, play a part in any future promotions, etc.

And so the tendency can be, especially as the organization grows, to say only good and positive things. But this isn't good for the leader or the organization. When leaders stop growing, everyone stops growing.

While it may not be appropriate for everyone to make public remarks about their leadership in front of others, there should at least be someplace where it is allowable. Whether that's in a board meeting, staff meeting, or any other type of gathering that varies based on the organization's size, there needs to be at least one place where people can provide feedback.

When people see leaders take (and welcome!) feedback, it creates a healthy culture within an organization that allows and promotes it. After all, if the senior leaders can take feedback, everyone else can too.

As a general rule, whenever someone gives me feedback on anything from my preaching, leadership, how I handled a certain situation or how I spoke about something, I always try to tell them thank you. Even if what they say stings a bit at the moment. Even if I completely disagree with what they said. The fact that they said something is a big deal, and I want them to know that they are always welcome to share their thoughts again in the future.

Good leaders are intentional leaders

Nobody leads well on accident. If we are not actively trying to learn and get better, we will get worse. These four mistakes are relatively easy to avoid, we just need to be intentional about not making them.

The good news is that you can do it. Just by taking a few minutes and thinking through just one of these areas can make a big difference. The world needs leaders who care, and there is no reason you can't be one of them.