⛪️ Practical Church: How to address anonymous complaints
💡 1 SOLUTION FOR EFFECTIVE MINISTRY
One of the challenges in ministry happens when someone shares with you a concern they have with someone else in your church. Often this is shared with a genuine desire to want to help the other person, and as the pastor or ministry leader, they want you to know so you can address it.
While their intentions might be good, I have found that it is never wise nor helpful to tell someone, “Someone told me that you’re involved with X…”
As a church leader, you yourself know how frustrating it is if someone tells you that “people,” or “they,” or “others are saying” in reference to something going on in the church that someone isn’t pleased with. Even more, it also often only one or two people who actually have an issue, but saying things like “people have told me” makes it appear as if it is a large crowd.
Here is my advice; nothing will be addressed anonymously. If someone tells me that people are upset with a decision or something that is happening at our church, I always ask who those people are. I don’t play the he said she said game. If, for whatever reason, they don’t feel comfortable sharing with me who in particular has taken issue with something, I’ll thank them for bringing it to my attention but say nothing can be done unless I can talk with those who are concerned.
In the same vein, I am always happy to help address a concern someone has about someone else, but only on the condition that I can tell the person I am addressing it with who told me or brought it to my attention. If it is not something I have personally observed myself, it isn’t fair to bring up accusations against someone anonymously.
This also gives responsibility to the one bringing the concern to me. If it is about someone they are close with, perhaps it would be better for them to address it with their friend first before I go and tell them that their friend was concerned about something, yet never told them.
I also understand that, as a pastor, I might have more experience than most in having hard conversations, so perhaps it might go better coming from me. But by sharing who told me what was going on and that they said I could tell them who told me, it lets them know they aren’t being gossiped about.
In the end, I strongly encourage you not to play the anonymous card at your church. Issues must be addressed head-on with everyone with whom are concerned. And you’ll find you will deal with a lot fewer issues if no one is allowed to complain about other people anonymously.
💬 2 HELPFUL QUOTES
I. Gregg Margosian on what’s important in life and ministry:
“People are not a means to an end, people are the end.”
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II. D.L. Moody on the importance of honoring God with our lives:
“Out of 100 men, one will read the Bible, the other 99 will read the Christian.”
🎙 THIS WEEK ON THE PODCAST
I share 6 tips for creating a great sermon writing process, why you need to do what you ask your people to do, not trusting your future self, and how not to bomb a church planting pitch. To submit a question for a future podcast episode click here.
💯 1 PRACTICAL RESOURCE FOR MINISTRY
Planning Center for your church management software.
There are many options available for your church management software. At New City, we have used Planning Center from the beginning and would recommend it. It is user-friendly for scheduling volunteers and organizing your service flow (these things are important if you want your volunteers to use it!). They also offer various church management services and you can simply choose the ones you need for the current season your church is in.
💪 1 CHALLENGE FOR LIFE AND MINISTRY
What is the worst thing that could happen if deleted my email app off my phone? Could I try it for 3 days and see if my worst fear is actually realized?
P.S. What did Jonah's family say when he told them about what happened before reaching Nineveh?
"Hmm, sounds fishy."
