⛪️ Practical Church: The best questions you can ask
💡 1 SOLUTION FOR EFFECTIVE MINISTRY
A few years ago I read The Coaching Habit by Michael Stanier. While this book is focused on coaching and leading, it might a profound difference on how I meet with people at our church and the questions I ask them. Below are some of the questions Stanier recommends in the book (in this order):
What’s on your mind?
And what else?
What’s the real challenge for you here?
What do you want?
How can I help?
When people ask to meet (or you reach out to meet with someone) there is typically something in mind they want to discuss. I have found the and what else question to be quite useful. Digging a little deeper often reveals what they are really thinking about.
In the same way, what’s the real challenge for you here is helpful because it helps them crystalize what the biggest problem is they are facing. After talking for a while about their issue(s), it brings both them and you real clarity when they can answer what the real problem really is.
What do you want is also key. No matter how good or Biblical your advice may be, if they don’t want to do it or receive it, it won’t matter. Many times, when someone is asked what they want, the answer becomes clear after they have been talking about their problem. Other times, people say to me, “What do you think I should do?” When this happens, I know that my counsel will be headed or at least considered. After all, they literally just told me they want to know what I think.
This is especially helpful when what I am going to say will be hard or challenging for them to hear. Because again, they literally asked me my opinion.
Of course, there are times when there are no clear-cut or easy answers to what someone is going through. However, these questions can still be therapeutic and helpful. Many times people just need to feel heard, and these questions are a great guide to do that.
You don’t have to ask these questions back to back, however. I typically ask many other probing questions as I am listening. But this is the general roadmap I often follow which I have found gets the most out of many of my conversations.
💬 2 HELPFUL QUOTES
I. Graham Cooke on church leadership:
”I think the responsibility of leadership in the church is not to do slick meetings and not to figure out how to get 5,000 people through a facility in a weekend. It is to produce a people like Jesus. Let’s be a people who are actually producing something on the ground that could totally annihilate the enemy in our city. That’s our job!”
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II. Sam Allberry on following Jesus:
“What does God love that I’m tempted to hate and what does God hate that I’m tempted to love? What does God want me to let go that I’m tempted to grip on to and what does God want me to grip on to that I’m tempted to let go?”
🎙 THIS WEEK ON THE PODCAST
I share 8 tips for writing better sermons, when you shouldn’t draw attention to things, how to sleep better, and more.
💯 1 PRACTICAL RESOURCE FOR MINISTRY
The Coaching Habit by Michael Stanier
In this book, Stanier walks you through 7 helpful questions to help you say less, ask more, and lead those around you better. While not a ministry book, it’s a book on how to lead and develop people, which is what a lot of church leadership is about.
💪 1 CHALLENGE FOR LIFE AND MINISTRY
What little thing is bothering me that I haven’t taken the time to fix? Can I fix it today?
P.S. Who was the most business-savvy woman in the Bible?
Pharaoh’s daughter, who went down to the bank of the Nile and pulled out a little prophet.
