4 Reasons Why Money And Sex Should Not Be Taboo Conversations In The Church
Money and sex are two topics that dramatically impact our lives. And yet, it seems that that are things to be almost avoided in Church circles for the fear of offending or making people think it's all the church cares about. I don't think that's a good idea. Here are four reasons why money and sex shouldn't be taboo conversations in the church.
1) These weren't taboo subjects to Jesus and the Biblical authors
Jesus talked about money and possessions more than any other topic. Why? As he says in Matthew 6:19-24, what you do with your money reveals what you really put your trust in.
In the same way, the Biblical authors are quite clear and don't hold back from addressing the Biblical sexual ethic (the God created sex to be enjoyed and life-giving, but that only truly happens in the context for which it was created; a covenant marriage relationship between a man and a woman).
These topics only become awkward and taboo when we make them to be (more on that in point #3).
2) People want to know what Scripture says about these topics
Fewer and fewer people these days are going to church because it's what you're "supposed to do." Which means, most people that show up to a church service are there for a reason. And even if they don't really want to be there, they are at the very least interested in what Scripture actually says (even if they don't agree).
Churches do a great disservice when they try and smooth-over, barely talk about, or avoid all together topics that our culture today, generally speaking, would disagree with. Yes, the Biblical sexual ethic may seem radical to a culture that thinks that sexual expression is the ultimate form of human freedom. But many people have gone down that path and found that sex doesn't fulfill them in the way they have been promised and are now looking for something that actually can (this is where Jesus comes in).
We shouldn't be afraid to teach people what God says about these things. Yes, we must do it with grace and love knowing none of us are perfect, but if God has a better way it's our job to make sure people know what it is.
3) It's only awkward when we make it awkward
In my opinion, the #1 reason people think churches talk about money "too much" is because very often when pastors or ministry leaders talk about it, they always begin by apologizing in some way or pointing out that this is a "sensitive topic." When we do that, we already put people on the defensive before we say anything.
At New City, we talk about money a lot. But we talk about it a lot because Jesus talks about it a lot. We talk about it a lot because what we do with our money matters. We don't talk about it a lot because we want people's money. What we care about is their hearts, and what we do with our money impacts us more than anything else.
The same goes for sex. It's everywhere. You can't avoid it even if you wanted to. Elementary aged kids are increasingly exposed to pornography at alarming rates. We do a great disservice by avoid the topic or only speaking to it a couple of times a year when we are doing a sermon on relationships.
People need to know God's beautiful and life-giving design for sex. And they need to know the grace, love, and forgiveness Christ offers all of us when we fall short in this area (because all of us have). God created it. He knows how it works. And you do know that he is the one that made it a pleasurable experience, right? So let's talk about why sex matters, and how to experience it in the most life-giving way.
4) Scripture has the best advice on money and sex
As I mentioned, if God created sex, loves us, and desires us to live full lives, then when he tells how to best experience something we should listen.
Scripture speaks repeatedly about the necessity of hard work and being wise with our finances, and at the same time talks about the importance of being generous and caring for those who have much less than we do. You may not agree with what the Bible says about sex (the money part may not be as controversial, even if we don't always live by it), but here is what is hard to argue with:
Imagine a world where sex took place between two people who genuinely loved, cared for, and were committed to each other no matter what. It wasn't about what we could selfishly get out of it, but how we could serve and build up the other person. The best place for this is in the context of a life-long committed relationship (i.e. marriage).
Also imagine a world where people genuinely tried to earn a living, budgeted, spent their money wisely, and were generous to those in need. Were people didn't view money as "theirs" to do whatever they wanted with. But to use for the good of supporting their families, enjoying life, and loving those in their communities who needed help.
I don't know about you, but I think that would be a great community to be a part of.
So let's not make money and sex taboo. These things have profound impacts on our lives, and God has a better way.
Here are some tips for talking about money
If you're a church leader and see the importance of talking about money, but aren't sure how to go about doing it, check out episode #94 of Practical Church Planting where we give 5 tips for talking about giving that don't feel forced.
You can check out the video below or subscribe to the podcast wherever you get our podcasts and receive practical tips, advice, and encouragement on planting and growing healthy churches.